Off house. Don Quixote.

Today is the day we go shopping. Not grocery shopping, though I like that too. No, today we go shopping for some fun things.

Off house and Don Quixote are stores in Yokosuka. We pass them if we walk or take the shuttle to base.

I wake up and I sense Mama Roo is in a hurry. "Up, please. Hugs. Kisses." When she tries to put me down, I lock my arms around her legs. "Leg hugs." She can see I am still tired. She sees the elephant blanket and ties me to her shoulder like we live in the Andes Mountains or something. Don't tell her, but I like it. Twenty minutes later I don't resist pants, a shirt, and some shoes because getting dressed means the elevator buttons are coming soon. 

"Push button. Button 1. One for paygown. One for bus. One for walking. I push it." We are off and out of the building. Friends come with us. I don't talk to them because they are new. After walking all day, or so it seems, we arrive at a warehouse stacked from floor to ceiling with shelves of junk. Literally, floor to ceiling. Don Quixote. This is it. Seemingly normal.

Then, we go inside. "Oh, dear," Mama says. I stay quiet.

Fireworks are in the first aisle, so you don't miss them. Next are the fake eyelashes, maybe in case you blow your face off with the fireworks. Maybe I thought wrong. Maybe this store is actually well thought out. Then I come to the swimsuits sharing an aisle with umbrellas, followed by an aisle of men's dress shoes. Nope, just random. I was right the first time.

Across from the dress shoes are placenta face masks. Yep, placenta. I can barely say that, but Mama Roo insists I try. Now, she is laughing. "Pacenta. Pacenta?" I'm not stuttering. Mama is crying.

If you need other beauty remedies, they are found very close. Diet pants in sizes Mama Roo can only fit her arm into and leg spats which come in packages that make it hard to tell what they are exactly are in this aisle. They make her laugh harder. We can't find anything useful, but we sure got a belly workout. Maybe just looking at these diet pants is all you need.

With nothing new in our possession, we leave the store. It's only a short walk to Off House. Kind of like Goodwill, Off House offers quite the assortment of used items. We didn't even browse the whole store, but we saw all kinds of things. Mama wanted to thumb through some clothes. Like we need more of those. It is so hot in here. I get out of the backpack, so Mama doesn't sweat to death. Look! Necklaces! Mama says to bring one with us. I know she is trying to distract me while she takes her time, but I'm ok with that. "Green necklace. Pretty. I put it on. I do it. Look. Mama, mama pretty necklace. Ooooo."

We get two things. I'll put on a fashion show later. Time to go home. We meet Daddy there. There are some restaurants we can walk to. Mama says we are going out tonight. I go in the backpack with Daddy Bear. "I up high. Stretch. I ready. Ready to go. Daddy go."

We pass a new vending machine they installed in our building. There is only one item in each slot. That doesn't seem effective. What do I know? I am not even two. We pass this fire hydrant on the way out every time. It looks like a cartoon. I'm not sure if it is, in fact what we think it is, but there is no other conclusion we have come to.

We get to this restaurant first. They display the plastic food replicas in the window before you enter, thank the Lord. The food looks like dog food from a can. Mama says we can't even go in. "Next. I walking. Dinner? I hungry."

Next restaurant doesn't display their fake food. We go in anyway. Big mistake.

This little bell that they give you can't help the disaster we have in front of us. We eat it because we don't want to be rude. Mama is sure it is chicken liver or liver of some sort. I barely look up because I am loving these noodles in BBQ sauce. It doesn't sound that bad, but Mama gags on the only bite she tries of them. If you are wondering what's right behind the liver, yes, that is scrambled egg over the top of rice smothered in BBQ sauce. Gross.

Our stomachs are gargling before we even make it out the front door. Good shopping, bad food. You win some, you lose some. We go home wash our mouths out.